Week three in the NFL: Picks and Predictions

Last week's record: 8-7

Overall record: 15-15

Chargers @ Bills: I’d take a bullet for Philip Rivers and I don’t care who knows it.

Pick: Chargers 24 Bills 20

Cowboys @ Rams: Is Dallas’ defense kind of sneaky good? They’ve so far shut down Colin Kaepernick and Jake Locker (two games in a row for Jake?! #recordwatch), and have looked relatively respectable in the first eight quarters. If Jason Garrett continues to remember he has a running back, this team could be on to something.

Pick: Cowboys 26 Rams 17

Redskins @ Eagles: Does RGIII ever start in this league again? A silly question two years ago is now a legitimate one. As for Kirk Cousins, I think he keeps Washington in this one, but I just don’t think he has the firepower to keep up with Foles, McCoy, Sproles, Maclin, Ertz, Coo- my hands hurt.

Pick: Eagles 33 Redskins 24

Texans @ Giants: Houston has benefited from a cupcake schedule thus far. The Giants have benefited from… never mind. They’re bad. They’re really, really bad. I pose the question yet again: Does Tom Coughlin survive the season?

Pick: Texans 21 Giants 17

Vikings @ Saints: Whats the perfect cure to an 0-2 start? Playing a Matt Cassel led team, at home, that’s so knee deep in national controversy that it makes the Miami locker room scandal look like a walk in the park.

Pick: Saints 35 Vikings 14

Titans @ Bengals: Jake Locker was 6-14 with an interception at one point last week. What are the kids saying nowadays? lol? Cincinnati’s defense could have a field day this week.

Pick: Bengals 27 Titans 17

Ravens @ Browns: Give Cleveland credit, they’re a Pittsburgh field goal away from being 2-0 right now. However, I have a bad feeling about them playing a Baltimore team with 10 days off. Also, anyone else find it weird that Brian Hoyer celebrates winning the exact same way he mourns losing?

Pick: Ravens 26 Browns 19

Packers @ Lions: A little surprised at how outmatched Green Bay looked in the first half last week. If that secondary got burned by Geno Smith, how do you think they’ll fare against Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson? (Did I just type “Geno Smith” and “burned” in the same sentence?)

Pick: Lions 33 Packers 30

Colts @ Jaguars: No thanks. I can’t think of a game I want to watch less.

Pick: Colts 28 Jaguars 14

Raiders @ Patriots: Never mind, I can.

Pick: Patriots 26 Raiders 7

49ers @ Cardinals: DREW! Loved that game last week. Just come out, buckle it up for the first time in three years, and casually get your team the win. Gotta respect that. However, the reality is the QB of this team doesn’t matter, because their defense is going to keep them in every game they play. You’re gonna see more of the same here, but I think the result is going to be different.

Pick: 49ers 16 Cardinals 13

Broncos @ Seahawks: What’s worse than playing the team that emasculated you on national television at the loudest stadium in the country? Playing the team that emasculated you on national television at the loudest stadium in the country when their defense is coming off a shockingly bad loss. #prayforpeyton

Pick: Seahawks 34 Broncos 17

Steelers @ Panthers: Now this is a good football game. A well rested Pittsburgh team playing a confident, undefeated Carolina team in primetime with Al Michaels on the call. As always, I need an upset, I have an upset, and, again, as always, I’m not confident about it.

Pick: Steelers 20 Panthers 17

Bears @ Jets: One question, who’s going to cover Brandon Marshall? To misquote the great Rick Petino, Darrelle Revis isn’t walking through that door. Also, loved the way the Jets lost that game on Sunday. So Jets it hurts.

Pick: Bears 24 Jets 16


Big game tomorrow. Huge opportunity. Miami should win this game, folks. They're the better team, as I've told you all week long.

Better offense. Better defense. More playmakers. Home field advantage. "Aqua out" at Sun Life Stadium (no, I haven't confirmed whether the Dolphins will dawn the all aqua look for the first time since 2002, but I wouldn't be shocked).

Bottom line? This game has a Miami win written ALL OVER IT; it's their's for the taking..

In about 21 hours they'll have to go out and do just that.

One day.