Mediocre start to the season last week. Time to rebound.
Read em. Weep. Repeat.
Last week's record: 7-8
Overall record: 7-8
Jaguars @ Redskins: Chad! Chad! Chad! The only thing I love more than watching Chad Henne casually put up a billion yards in the first half is watching Chad Henne absolutely collapse when the game is on the line. It just makes me feel silly all over. As for Washington, I really don’t know what to say at this point. They are just unfathomably bad in every facet of the game. The demise of RGIII has been tough to watch.
Jaguars: 20 Redskins 16
Cowboys @ Titans: Hey, Tony… GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR…. Come on, dude! You’re my fantasy QB! I invested $100 in this league and that’s what you give me? It’s like a cruel little game at this point with Tony Romo and the Cowboys. they’ll probably win this game, because it would just be classic Dallas, but I’m not touching them with a ten foot pole right now. Hey, on the bright side, at least last week’s game got them prepared for a hostile, road environment. So they got that going for them.
Pick: Cowboys 21 Titans 24
Cardinals @ Giants: Does Tom Coughlin survive this season? Honestly, does he? This may be the worst team in football. No chance they win this game. They’ll be lucky if they even score.
Pick: Cardinals 23 Giants 13
Patriots @ Vikings: Hey Tom, how’s the ground taste? Wow, what a beautiful sight that was last week. Who do we think Giselle yelled at after the game? What wife did she just lay into? Man, to be a fly on that wall. With all that being said, yeah, I’m picking the Patriots. Bill and Tom don’t go 0-2 (do they?)
Pick: Patriots 27 Vikings 20
Saints @ Browns: How many big macs did Rob Ryan just crush after that defensive performance? Honestly. Some people chain smoke. Some people dip. And then you have Rob Ryan, who I imagine just demolishes food when he’s angry. Luckily for him, the Browns offense isn’t quite as potent as Atlanta’s, so they should rebound here, and they’ll need to, because falling to 0-2 in an improved NFC South could be trouble.
Pick: Saints 30 Browns 17
Falcons @ Bengals: Two solid offenses. One solid defense. I’ll go with the Bungles.
Pick: Falcons 24 Bengals 27
Lions @ Panthers: Still trying to wrap my head around that second Calvin Johnson touchdown, and I still don’t know what was crazier: The fact that Stafford had the nuts to make that throw, or the fact that Johnson caught it. Either way, this Lions offense is big time, there’s no doubting that. However, SuperCam is back, and that Carolina defense is just a smidgeon better than the Giants’ (okay, leaps and bounds).
Pick: Lions 23 Panthers 24
Rams @ Buccaneers: Holy cow, how bad were these two last week? Really Josh McCown? All I have to say is, thanks for validating all my doubts over the past four months. As for the Rams, Two (disgusting) word(s): Austin Dillon.
Pick: Rams 9 Buccaneers 17
Seahawks @ Chargers: You know the NFL is back when Philip Rivers spikes a ball in frustration once a drive. Gotta love him. No way the (go) Chargers (go) drop to 0-2 to begin the year. Not at home. I need an upset, I have an upset. And no, I’m not at all confident about it.
Pick: Seahawks 20 Chargers 23
Texans @ Raiders: I’ve stared at this screen for 15 minutes trying to think of something clever to say about this game, but I’ve got nothin’. This is a real toss up. I liked how Derrick Carr looked last week, but can he handle that Houston defense? Even without Jadaveon Clowney, I don’t think he’s up to it. The beard prevails!
Texans 20 Raiders 13
Jets @ Packers: Yeah, ok.
Pick: Jets 14 Packers 31
Chiefs @ Broncos: Alex Smith LED THE TEAM IN RUSHING ATTEMPTS LAST WEEK. That makes me giggle. Andy, Andy, Andy. You’ll never learn.
Pick: Chiefs 17 Broncos 28
Bears @ 49ers: I still like Chicago, I really do. They just ran into a really good Buffalo defense last week, that’s all. Don’t worry, things are looking up this… wait, never mind. San Francisco is still a really good football team.
Pick: Bears 20 49ers 30
Eagles @ Colts: Nice little comeback for Andrew Luck last week (*copied and pasted from every other game of his career). Unfortunately, it was too little to late for the Colts. But that offense looked good in the second half, as did the defense, and at home, on a Monday night, I think they can pull this one off. Just don’t get up by to much, apparently the Eagles like that sort of thing.
Pick: Eagles 27 Colts 30
Game day morning is just TWELVE HOURS AWAY. Come back tomorrow morning for all your Miami Dolphins coverage, including my pick.
And, as always, make sure to follow the live, quarter by quarter, blog throughout tomorrow's game.
One. Day.
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