Week Nine in the NFL: Picks and Predictions

Halfway point in the 2014 season.. Lets do it.


Last week's record: 10-4

Overall record: 74-39


Buccaneers @ Browns: Not your finest moment, scheduling committee. Not your finest moment at all. Upset city, population: Blacked out Cleveland.

Pick: Buccaneers 20 Browns 17

Cardinals @ Cowboys: Jerry Jones just casually strolling down to the sidelines on Monday night was the most Jerry Jones moment in the history of Jerry Jones moments. “Drama? Spotlight? I need to get down there and provide my medical assistance with my fake medical degree!” Classic. I still love the Boys, but not this week. Not against the Birds.

Pick: Cardinals 27 Cowboys 24

Eagles @ Texans: Back to back roadies for any team is tough. But I think that Chip Kelly offense is just a tad too quick for JJ Watt and his imaginary camera. Also… Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Pick: Eagles 25 Texans 18

Jets @ Chiefs: Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha.

Pick: Chiefs 33 Jets 6

Jaguars @ Bengals: Are we, as a society, just never going to discuss the fact that Andy Dalton only has six touchdown passes this season? Like, that’s as many as Blake Bortles has. What a strange stat that’s just been quietly swept-under-the-carpet.

Pick: Bengals 30 Jaguars 7

Redskins @ Vikings: “Hey Colt, I know you just put together easily the best game from a quarterback we’ve had this season, on the biggest stage, in front of the entire world, but you’re still benched this week.” What a cutthroat business this can be.

Pick: Vikings 19 Redskins 17

Rams @ 49ers: All quiet on the Austin Davis front? Thought so. Man, people can be so gullible sometimes. Yes, Brett Favre. I’m looking at you.

Pick: 49ers 23 Rams 14

Broncos @ Patriots: Patriots fans on September 28: “Tom sucks. We suck. Trade him. Cut him. Bench him. It’s Garoppolo time!” Patriots fans ONE MONTH later: “Super Bowl!! Tom for MVP!! February or bust! We’re the best team, with the best QB, in the entire world!!” And no, that’s not an assumption, that’s a fact. Unfortunately I have to live right in the heart of it. Puke.

Pick: Patriots 33 Broncos 30

Raiders @ Seahawks: Oh Tony. Not even the biggest, deepest, grandest hole will bail you out of this one. Just keep your sunglasses on, don’t make eye contact with anyone, and get out of there as soon as possible.

Pick: Seahawks 35 Raiders 7

Ravens @ Steelers: TripGate 2.0! Whenever these two hook up, it’s always a good time. I expect nothing less on Sunday night. Unfortunately for the Ravens, I think they’re catching Big Ben and the Curtain at the wrong time.

Pick: Steelers 24 Ravens 21

Colts @ Giants: Andrew Luck has 22 TD’s this season. He’s also 3-1 at home. He’s also looking for his first career Monday night win. See where I’m going here..?

Pick: Colts 30 Giants 24


Pre game coverage kicks things off in the morning, followed by the live blog, which begins after the first quarter of tomorrow's 1:05 kickoff.

Until then...

16 hours.