Week Five in the NFL: Picks and predictions

 

Bye Week... That means, as always, a lighting round of picks.

Got a hot streak going, can't stop now.

Last week's record: 9-3

Overall record: 36-21



Bears @ Panthers: I think a Bear would maul a Panther in real life, right? This game’s a toss up, so that’s the logic I’m going with.

Pick: Bears 30 Panthers 23

Browns @ Titans: Charlie Whitehurst has the hair of a Greek God. Brian Hoyer is bald. Good thing that has nothing to do with the outcome.

Pick: Browns 23 Titans 17

Rams @ Eagles: Would’ve been nice to have LeSean McCoy on the goal line last Sunday. Probably could’ve used, ya know, the top rusher in the league in that situation. Oh wait… Chip Kelly won’t make the same mistake twice.

Pick: Eagles 28 Rams 10

Falcons @ Giants: Back to back roadies for Atlanta means back to back loss(i)es for Atlanta.

Pick: Giants 27 Falcons 24

Buccaneers @ Saints: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Go ahead, Tampa Bay, fool me again. I dare you.

Pick: Saints 35 Buccaneers 17

Texans @ Cowboys: Yee-haw! Love the battle of Texas. Love the south. Love J.J. Watt. Love Demarco Murray. Love the beard. Hate the Texans offense.

Pick: Cowboys 23 Texans 20

Bills @ Lions: Go look up Kyle Orton’s mustache. Do they not have at least an outside shot here?? Unfortunately, Tom Selleck comes up just short.

Pick: Lions 24 Bills 14

Ravens @ Colts: This is sneaky one of the better games this week. A hot Ravens team coming off a pummeling of Carolina, against a QB who’s averaging just short of a billion yards per game. I’m thinking the chin beard prevails here.

Pick: Colts 28 Ravens 27

Steelers @ Jaguars: Does this game even get shown in Jacksonville?

Pick: Steelers 27 Jaguars 10

Cardinals @ Broncos: That Arizona defense, like always, will keep them in this game. But beating Peyton Manning? At home? Coming off a bye week? With Drew Stanton possibly? No thanks.

Pick: Broncos 25 Cardinals 17

Chiefs @ 49ers: Love the way Kansas City plays football. Reminds me of my childhood. Run run run, play-action pass, first down by a half yard. Rinse, wash, repeat. Unfortunately, I don’t think that formula works on the west coast.

Pick: 49ers 24 Chiefs 19

Jets @ Chargers: 1,155 yards. 9 TD’s. 114.5 rating. Need I say more? Love you, Phil.

Pick: Chargers 30 Jets 20

Patriots @ Bengals: If you know football, you know the Pats win this week. Why? Because they shouldn’t. Come on world, wake up. Upset city.

Pick: Patriots 20 Bengals 17

Seahawks @ Redskins: 2013 wild card game rematch!!! Same quarterbacks. Same venue. Same outcome.

Pick: Seahawks 30 Redskins 20


Off week ends on Monday. Until then, sit back, relax, and enjoy your final stress free week of the year.