Week One in the NFL: Picks and Predictions

16 hours. That's it, folks. Take a sleeping pill, tuck in, and go to bed. Because when you wake up it will officially be GAMEDAY.

Predictions time. Can't win them all if you don't win the first one!

Saints @ Falcons: Not quite buying back into the Falcons yet, and Hard Knocks can’t make me!

Pick: Saints: 31 Falcons 23

Vikings @ Rams: Oh boy, this one goes straight to the top in the “who cares” category. Sorry, but Shaun Hill vs. Matt Cassel just doesn’t do much for me.

Pick: Vikings 17 Rams 20

Browns @ Steelers: What’s with all the Brian Hoyer hype? When did he suddenly become a good QB? I don’t get it. #JohnnyClipboard

Pick: Browns 10 Steelers 23

Bengals @ Ravens: The Ravens are going to win this game. Not because they're at home and due for a bounce back year, but because Andy Dalton has too much money in his pocket now that it's weighing him down. Seriously, how's he going to get away from these guys now?

Pick: Bengals 21 Ravens 23

Bills @ Bears: I was silly about this Bills team earlier this summer. The defense is stacked, and the offense has weapons on weapons on weapons. Then I saw them play and remembered EJ Manuel is still their QB.

Pick: Bills 10 Bears 27

Jaguars @ Eagles: Look at good ol’ Checkdown Chad just doing his mediocre thing still. Gotta respect it at this point. Still, Bortles is better, and so are the Eagles.. by a lot.

Pick: Jaguars 13 Eagles 27

Raiders @ Jets: Nothing like a Geno Smith vs. Derrick Carr matchup to start off the season, huh? Gulp. The Jets have the better defense, and that’s huge here.

Pick: Raiders 13 Jets 17

Redskins @ Texans: I really don’t have a good read on either one of these teams. In fact, does anyone? I still believe in RGIII, and I like him to find a way to get it done here. Just watch out for Clowney…and Watt… Gracious. Good luck.

Pick: Redskins 20 Texans 17

Titans @ Chiefs: Everybody seems to like Jake Locker again, huh? Must be the start of a brand new season! Seriously, it’s a tradition like no other. Even if he does last all four quarters here, I still like the Chiefs.

Pick: Titans 16 Chiefs 23

Panthers @ Buccaneers: This should be a good football game. I really like Tampa’s defense (and uniforms), but can the offense keep up with Superman Cam? Don’t think so.

Pick: Panthers 23 Buccaneers 20

49ers @ Cowboys: Where did, like, 75% of the 49ers defense go? Arrested? Suspended? Hurt? Good lord. Come on, fellas, get it together. Tighten up! In my upset of the week, I like Tony Romo (who may or may not be my fantasy QB) and the Cowgirls to pull it off in Jerry’s world.

Pick: 49ers 31 Cowboys 34

Colts @ Broncos: Andrew Luck has done some crazy stuff in his first two seasons. Beating Peyton and the Broncos at home on opening night would top them all. Maybe another time.

Pick: Colts 17 Broncos 30

Giants @ Lions: Really, ESPN? This is the best you could do? Have the Giants even scored yet this preseason? Yikes.

Pick: Giants 13 Lions 23  

Chargers @ Cardinals: Well, at least we don’t get Chargers/Raiders for the 158th year in a row, right? Actually not a bad week one finale here. I like Carson and the Birds at home. They’re pretty good there, I hear.

Pick: Chargers 23 Cardinals 27

Alright folks, we've made it. Game Day is TOMORROW. The countdown is OVER.

Make sure to come back in the morning for my Dolphins/Patriots game day preview, along with as, always, my prediction.

16 hours.

Merry Christmas eve!